I can be a total idiot sometimes. You know how there’s that one thing that you keep telling yourself: “That was the last time! I will never do that again.” You work hard at it and avoid known triggers for it, but occasionally, like me this morning, you find yourself lamenting over having done it again.
My heart was hurting and I felt pretty far from God. I know there is nothing that I can do to drive God away from me, but knowing that didn’t help today. I felt like I had failed myself and Him. Again. I just couldn’t get past that feeling.
Somehow, in the midst of all of that pain, He spoke to my heart. He reminded me of a message I once delivered. In the message I talked about how God is never farther away from us than He is when we are at our best. If anything He is closer to us when we stumble and fall.
I used the example of my kids (which is how it popped in my head this morning). If my daughter does something she knows she is not supposed to do and gets hurt, I don’t walk away from her and say that she got what she deserved. I run to her, scoop her up in my arms and kiss her owie. I tell her I love her and that it’ll be alright. I might even ask, not in a condemning way, “Baby, what were you thinking? You know better than that.”
We will discuss later the cause and effect of the situation: first we deal with the pain, then the heart issue, and finally the head issue. God is no different. Jesus even said “If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:11 NIV) God is a better father than I could ever be! Why would He act in a manner that even I (a flawed, inherently evil human) wouldn’t as a means of punishment?