A friend of mine told me he was struggling with faith; with belief in God. Why can’t He just “write on the wall, ‘I am real.’,” he asked. Below is my response:
I had similar struggles, but not the same one. I struggled more with scripture, doctrine, who Jesus really was, how does all this really affect me in the 21st century… I spent my 20s asking these questions and my 30s looking for answers. I honestly can’t remember ever doubting the existence of God. I guess you could say they got me at a really early age.
I guess, where I am in my faith, I see God’s “signature” all around me: the way a rose buds and blooms, the way a sunrise gilds the horizon and any lingering clouds, the way a tree can look dead in winter and come back to life in spring, even in a baby’s smile the first time he sees his mom. Maybe I’ve just grown a bit sappy in my old age, but I see life as a miracle. I see the cosmos as a beautiful tapestry, full of the unknown and yet to be discovered. I see God’s fingerprints in the unique features and characteristics of people, places, and things.
I know I can’t convince you of the existence of God – I would never disrespect you so much as to try. Please just see my heart and know that I am merely pointing out what I would refer to as the Residue of the Divine (for lack of a better phrase).
I’m also not going to try to delve into Christian doctrine or scripture for any purpose other than to say that I believe we (humans) are here for the purpose of carrying a spark of the divine in us – in our inner spirit – as we learn who/what “God” is and what that means to/for us. I do believe God exists and is unchanging, but that doesn’t look the same in every person. I believe He gives a lot more “wiggle room” for those with questions (even doubts) than many of my contemporaries. I think He loves the questions, but I think He loves the seeking of answers even more.